posted on December 23, 2016
Santa has a rep as an old-fashioned, DIY dude who scoots down chimneys, still uses coal, and powers his sleigh with a team of nine reindeer. But if he were a little less of a luddite, we think he’d be be happy with a few upgrades, and we’re sure his sleigh team wouldn’t mind adding a little boost to their reindeer games. With that in mind, we’ve collected the finest, most majestic fleet of reindeer cars. If we were Santa, we’d most definitely them want to carry us and our gifts around the world.
Dasher — Cody’s Jeep Wrangler 2015
Dasher is a fun prankster and always has been. He’s always sneaking a taste of his neighbor’s morning alfalfa biscuits — Santa’s only real baking talent — and tying the sleigh reins around Prancer’s feet to see how he’ll react this time. But Dasher is a reliable team member, who doesn’t let anything stand in his team’s way, and everybody wants him on their side.
Grand Prairie, TX
Dancer — Phil’s Fisker Karma 2012
Dancer is a rare breed. She was a professional ballerina before she came up to the North Pole to join Santa’s sleigh team, and she still entertains the elves every year with her one-car rendition of The Nutcracker. She enjoys a hearty barre warm-up before a long flight, and despite what any of the rubes say, she has never let out a SINGLE emission.
San Diego, CA
Prancer — Adam’s Tesla Model X 2016
You’ll meet few reindeer prouder than Prancer. Even in the spring, you’ll find him in his sleigh gear, blasting the Top Gun soundtrack while he practices his take-offs and landings. Everyone has to admit that he’s the best flier on the team and he’s been trying to make the name Maverick stick, but so far, he’s only getting Ludacris.
Chicago, IL
Vixen — Sergii’s Merecdes Benz SLK-Class 2014
More than once, Vixen has been compared to Scary Spice, and she’s not quite sure why since she’s always fancied herself more of a Posh Spice. Either way, she makes an effort to keep the reindeer team in line and in sync — and if anyone is slacking, she has no problem letting them know. However, don’t let her hardtop fool you, she’s not immune to holiday cheer and she’s full of soft leather on the inside.
Las Vegas, NV
Comet — Joseph’s Porsche 911 2009
Comet has always been known for speed. He earned his name in the early, sprightly reindeer days when he was often spotted streaking naked through the snowy night and jumping off of high banks of snow. These days, he does his best to bring a classy side to Santa’s sleigh team, but he still lives for those jaunts into the winter night, and he saves his sprinting power for Christmas Eve.
Los Angeles, CA
Cupid — Jeffery’s Plymouth Cuda 1970
She pierces hearts wherever she goes, because Cupid is a sharp gal. Yes, she was the one who excluded Rudolf from the reindeer games, but she swears it was just a tool to help him build self-esteem. During the off-season, Cupid’s been writing a memoir about her younger, crazier days as a lone reindeer wandering the tundra, called Itchy Antlers, and she’s hoping that the elves might be so kind as to publish it in their workshop.
El Cajon, CA
Donner — Alex’s Lamborghini Huracan 2015
Donner and Mrs. Claus have always had a tight bond, and while the rest of the reindeer might be on the sleigh team for the glory, Donner has eyes only for Mrs. Claus. He lives for the little wreaths she makes out of lichen and breathes for the long trots they take together when she’s tired of looking over Santa’s Naughty/Nice List — she wishes he’d make the switch to database software but he selfishly hopes he never does. But Donner also knows that Santa is a special figure, and he takes in pride in using his strength and agility to keep him safe for Mrs. Claus.
Santa Monica, CA
Blitzen — Ryan’s Dodge Viper 2006
Even as a young reindeer running through the rural forests, Blitzen knew he was going to the North Pole one day. His favorite training game was prancing through a field of lightning and not getting zapped. He’s always been proud of his good looks and flashy style, and now that he’s made it, he wants to design a line of luxury joggers that are flattering for workouts AND in Santa’s VIP fireside lounge.
Phoenix, AZ
Rudolph — Kevin’s Ford Fire Truck 1947
He knows that he’s different from the other reindeer, maybe not as young and hip and sporty, but Rudolph has always prided himself on two things: preparedness and excellent hygiene. They’ve taken him far. Rudolph has got bells and whistles, lights and ladders, and a fannypack full of travel essentials, like eye drops and nose warmers, that the rest of sleigh team always need and never buy. Now that he’s been invited to join the reindeer games, everyone has to admit that he has some very low-key leadership skills that they appreciate.
San Diego, CA
Kamala Puligandla
Kamala Puligandla is a writer, editor, and bon vivant in LA. She is the author of two books, Zigzags and You Can Vibe Me On My Femmephone, and is always on the look-out for strange stories, excellent eats, and relaxing locales.
