Very well maintained BMW 325Ci - the C stands for Coupe. His name is Harvard and he's a badass piece of machinery. Let me tell you a little about my friend.
1 - Great gas mileage which is why he and I get along personally. You're talking 23 mpg City - 30 mpg Hwy. For as much power as the POTUS, that is not bad.
2 - Tinted windows - borderline legal 35% carbon polarized tint creating you a 100% UV free environment. I'm talking anti-aging capabilities.
3 - Drilled and slotted brakes for ultimate stopping power. Not only does he get up and go, he gets down and stops.
4 - He loves tunes as much as you love to play them. Leave your hippy music at home - this stock Bose system is made for 100% beautifully melodic alternative rock. Did I mention he has an iPod 30-pin connector? Well he does. And a 30-pin to lightning adapter for those of us who live in a 2014 kind of world.
5 - Leather interior bovines would die for.
6 - Automatic rain sensing wipers that will make you wish for cloudy skies.
7 - Electric seats that would put a Fender Stratocaster to shame.
8 - Not an electric car! I can not stress this enough - this vehicle is a real, german, motorized car. This car is sure to leave your condescending electric peers in your dust as you experience what engineering is all about. This may be his best feature.