posted on May 12, 2017
WOW MOM
Like perms, pocketbooks, and the perpetual extra Kleenex, there are some things that moms do better than everyone else. Whether it’s solving bureaucratic nightmares, pulling together an awesome costume/project from junk, bringing home hella bacon and then cooking it, or sending totally nonsensical texts that still manage to convey a great deal of love, moms are killing it all the time. We know there is no gift grand enough to exchange for our lives, but we think every mom deserves a ride or drive in a truly magnificent car. And just like moms, they come in every style!
Michael’s Porsche Cayenne 2014
This is perfection to the mom who lives for practical luxury. She goes to Costco, but mostly for their deals on Marcona almonds, and she wears very comfortable shoes, but they’re still designers. Her kids are the kind of people who, even as adults, are known to spout platitudes like “everything works out” and “it all happens for the best” and that’s because she’s always, always there to make sure that’s exactly what happens.
Kirkland, WA
Eduardo’s Tesla Model X 2016
The mom who runs around town in a Model X is a woman about whom everyone asks, “How did she do that?” She has little tricks up her sleeve for everything, from getting her kids to take out the trash to arranging for massages during her lunch break. She will tell you that they’re not tricks, rather a series of very developed and responsive systems, but you still can’t figure out how, she just got off a plane she and has no bags with her at all.
Washington, DC
Dustin’s Chevrolet Corvette Stingray 2014
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom,” is something a mom in this Corvette has never had to say. The implicit growl of the engine is enough to let everyone know that she’s not making any pizza rolls after school. This mom has got a packed schedule and her own agenda, so she’s more than happy to hire teenage girls to drive her kids to their activities, and she’s happy to let them borrow her lipstick on the weekends. She can’t wait for her kids to be old enough to cruise around in their own flashy rides right beside her.
San Leon, TX
Esther’s Kia Sedona 2015
Preparedness is a mainstay of the minivan mom. There’s always enough time and enough space in a minivan, and that’s how she likes to roll. She keeps an extra raincoat in the back along with a giant box of Chewy granola bars, an electric kettle, aluminum blankets (you never know!), a portable lamp, and a Scrabble set. She can hang out in this van for hours. Extra-long band practice? No problem! When the video game gathering gets too rowdy in the house, you’ll find her here, cozied up in a captain’s chair, simply enjoying herself.
Los Angeles, CA
Gleb’s Land Rover Range Rover Sport 2011
Some moms are easy to please. They’ll hang your ugly art on the wall and brag to their friends about the terrible poem you wrote in third grade. But not the Range Rover mom. She is here to keep you on your toes. She doesn’t think your beard is a good idea. She’s made that very clear. She thinks you should eat a little more AND could stand to lose some weight. She’s not sure she likes your girlfriend, who is actually your wife, a fact she can’t seem to “remember.” But if you’re sick or feeling down, she always finds a way to magically appear and remind you that you’ve been worse.
Jersey City, NJ
Did’s Chevrolet Impala 1960
When this mom describes her youth, it becomes clear that she was always a babe. “I just never really took to it,” she has said of her relationship to work. She still is surprised when she isn’t served first at the bar, and she expects to be hit on by servers and shopkeepers. “Let’s see if they have just one more,” she’ll say with a wink whenever anything appears to be sold out. And while this may have unnerved her children in their youth, they go out in style together now and it’s always a blast.
San Francisco, CA
Sarah’s Subaru XV Crosstrek 2013
While normal moms are busy worrying over minor details, like what to eat for dinner or whether they should take the dog out now or later, Crosstrek moms are busy planning their climb up Mt. Kilimanjaro, and otherwise making the average 20-year-old’s body look old and washed up. They were eating clean and making juice long before it was convenient, and they truly are immortal. So you can expect weekly calls to join them on a quick 10 miler every Saturday into infinity.
Somerville, MA
Lucas’ Volkswagen Vanagon 1984
The Vanagon mom doesn’t think of herself as mom, so much as a fellow passenger along for the ride of life. She wasn’t great with getting permission slips signed because she didn’t really believe in giving permission on behalf of anyone else. And it’s always been hard to get her to show up on time for things like graduations and plane flights. But she has always been the most excellent fellow passenger, in that she keeps the journey spicy and unexpected, and you really never know what’s going to happen next.
Waialua, HI
Kamala Puligandla
Kamala Puligandla is a writer, editor, and bon vivant in LA. She is the author of two books, Zigzags and You Can Vibe Me On My Femmephone, and is always on the look-out for strange stories, excellent eats, and relaxing locales.
